Coming Soon...

Yesterday I had to go to a mandatory training for work. Seth took the morning off, and my parents were visiting, so it worked out perfectly for childcare so I could go. The topic was Autism. Some of the people my company supports have some type of ASD so it was meant to educate the employees on the subject.
To be honest, I didn't learn much that I could use at work. What I did take away from it was a lot more personal, since Kibby was diagnosed with Autism in February by the school district. (She goes in later this month for more extensive developmental testing through the clinic here, so we will soon have their input as well.)
I will post more about what I learned in a future post. (Soon!)
Also coming up, look for a birthday post! Yes, Ethan turned 8 over the weekend! :)
Until then,

Sisters

Proof that they don't always fight:

Kibby is learning to tolerate her sister, and even play with her. It's what I've been hoping for, that they would become best friends. It's heading that way... Of course they still fight and squabble over things on a daily (even hourly) basis, but I am starting to see more love and caring between them, too.

If Kibby gets an owie, Ruby wants to kiss it all better. If Kibby accidentally hurts Ruby, she is now saying, "sorry, Ruby." without prompting. Heartwarming.

This may not seem like much, but even a few months ago, Kibby mostly wanted nothing to do with Ruby. She would ignore her or fight with her, but very rarely show her any love, interest, or compassion. To see this starting to change does my heart good! :) There is hope!

Sisterly love. :)

Answers

Well, we finally have some answers about our Kibby. After months of tests and evaluations and screenings, of waiting lists and wondering. It has taken a long time, but we think she will be able to get some help now, and for that we are glad. It will be worth the wait.

We met Thursday with the team from the school district that has been doing her most recent evaluations. They tested her for several things: academic and cognitive abilities, vision, communication, and autism. In the midst of this, Kibby also saw a nurse practitioner from the department of developmental & behavioral pediatrics here in town. (She had been on a wait list since the end of August!) She also saw a social worker at the clinic to determine what type of an evaluation she would need by them, and an audiologist to test her hearing.

What had prompted all of this testing was her history of delayed speech, strange use of language when she did begin to speak, and other developmental... oddities, for lack of a better word. This led us to get her tested for some type of developmental disorder, and we began this process last Fall, after an attempt at doing an Early Childhood check-in was a flop. They weren't able to screen her. I have written some about these things in previous posts, but it has been a while since I've updated on this because I didn't have anything concrete to share. I didn't have any diagnosis or test results to report, just my gut feeling, and I've already shared that.

Well, now I have something to report. And research. It's name?

Autism.

It wasn't the crushing blow it could have been, only because I already suspected it. Not to say that it was nothing to see it on paper next to Kibby's name. It wasn't. However, I am optimistic that the help Kibby will be able to get will enable her succeed far beyond what I can do alone at home. (Not that I am ever alone... with 4 kids, it's rare to ever be truly alone in the house!) I am still processing how I feel about all of this, and all that goes along with this diagnosis. I'm also doing some research. I was a bit surprised at Kibby's scores on the autism test... we all pretty much expected her to test on the higher-functioning end, and she didn't. This doesn't mean she is low-functioning necessarily, either. She did score "far below average" in a few categories. She is a bit of a puzzle, and we're trying to figure it all out yet. He scores could be skewed a bit due to her problem with auditory processing, or could be completely accurate. The team once was fairly certain it wasn't autism, but after testing her and seeing her results, feel that they got accurate information and the results are correct. She will be re-evaluated at the end of Kindergarten to see if she still qualifies for services.

Kibby also qualifies for services for a language disorder. Which sounds pretty general, to me, but I'm not sure how you could narrow that down for her, either. He use of language is unique and odd, sometimes embarrassing, or even downright funny.

We have one more meeting to go before Kibby will start preschool. We will be prioritizing goals for Kibby and meeting with the teachers and observing her classroom. She will go four mornings per week, following the regular school year. For me, right now, the hardest part about her attending school is her transportation. I have to admit it kind of freaks me out to put my 4-year-old child on a bus or van with a stranger, for a nearly 20-minute ride (each way, not including other stops the bus may make) for four days a week. What about car seats? Do they have them? I have so many questions and things to figure out. We do have the option to drive her ourselves, of course, but I'm not sure how that would work with Ethan's bus schedule. I know I shouldn't worry about it, especially when I don't know the details yet. Deep breath, Susan... deeeep breath...

There. That's better.

I'll post another update when I have her appointment set up and I know when she'll be starting school! Whoa, it feels strange to type that. Ethan never went to preschool, so I'm not used to this. I always thought I'd have her at home until she was five and a half! *sniff*

***Update - I have her meeting set up for March 1st, and Kibby will begin school on March 2nd! I'm not sure I'm ready for this! I'm excited for her and nervous all at the same time. ***

Birthday Girl!

Happy Birthday, Kibby!

Yesterday was Kibby's birthday. Here she is telling us all how old she is!
Anybody notice what's missing?

Two of her gifts - Strawberry Shortcake dolls.



She loves Strawberry Shortcake. She watches the 2 Strawberry Shortcake DVDs that she owns all the time! (I do mean all. the. time!) One of them is called Strawberry Shortcake, Berry Big Journeys. (I won it for her from my friend Sarah's blog. Thanks, Sarah!) Kibby loves to watch it, and she calls it "Strawberry Shortcake Big Germs". :)

She also got some Color Wonder paint & marker kits. She loves to draw and paint and color. She had gotten some Color Wonder stuff from her grandparents for Christmas and has been coloring pictures a lot lately. Since Christmas, when she wants to color, she will tell me, "I just want markers for Christmas, I just want to draw!" all in one breath, rushed together. It's the same phrase, said in the same tone, every time. That's just how Kibby is.


Here is some of her recent artwork:
This used to be more of the norm for her. She would fill entire sheets of paper with just purple. Every single white spot covered with purple marker or crayon. I'm happy to see she is expanding her love of color beyond just that one!



I had asked her to open her eyes instead of squinting them shut (how she usually smiles for the camera!) and she signed "awake" for me! :)



She used up all of her finger paints in about an hour! I looked over and realized she was using gobs of paint at a time, her little fingers nearly stuck together. Ah well, I thought... she is having fun. She was so focused at her creations, too!

Switching gears a bit, we have been having quite a few appointments for her lately. She has been having tests done to see if she will qualify for Early Childhood classes. So far she has had two speech / language evaluations, a vision test, a hearing test, a meeting with a social worker, some academic testing, and she has two more to appointments go. She will have an autism checklist screening done next week, and she will also see a developmental nurse practitioner. I hope to have all of the results compiled by our meeting with the school district in mid-February. I will update around that time to let everyone know what we find out!

For now, we'll keep up the artwork, one day at a time!

A Bunch of This and That

Where to start?

I've decided to do a casserole-style post today since I have lots to share and don't feel like doing 5 separate posts. So I'm just going to combine everything here and hope it doesn't leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth. :)

Speaking of mouths... Ethan lost another tooth a little over a week ago. It didn't happen without tears, drama, and a couple phone calls to Nana, though. Here he is after all the above-mentioned was over:

The kids spent the afternoon playing outside:

The girls made Ethan's soccer goal into a tent and had fun hiding inside and pulling up grass.

Seth pitched some balls for Ethan to hit. (Pardon the poor photo quality, no time to Photoshop!)

Kibby loves to be tickled while swinging, evidently.

Little Ruby!

Ruby loves her dollies. In fact, she loves all things BABY lately.

However, MY baby is growing up. Soon to be two years old. How did that happen?! Here she is, sporting all of her hair in pigtails (ponytails?) for the first time. (Yes, I know they are crooked! She kept looking around the room while I was putting them in.)

More proof that she loves her dollies. Everyday she pats my tummy and says "Baby!" She also loves to see pictures of babies on the computer, or TV, or on billboards, or in real life... she has been nearly obsessed with babies lately. I'm hoping her affection continues and she'll be nice to her baby brother. Who is due to make his arrival in approximately FIVE WEEKS! He will be one of her birthday presents, most likely, as my due date is the day after Ruby's birthday.

************************************

Switching gears...

Kibby had her Speech / Language evaluation yesterday. I was amazed at how uninhibited she was through it all. At first she didn't want to go in the room, and sat down on the floor, crying "No I don't want to!" Of course this may have been influenced by her hearing the doctor talk about how the hall was quiet at the moment, but they had had a bunch of kids in for shots earlier and it was a big old cry-fest... JUST what Kibby wanted to hear. I had to try to convince her that she wasn't there to get shots, only to play and talk with the doctor...

Once Kibby settled in to play with some toys at the table, things went better. Sort of. She surprised me with how assertive she was being. In fact, it was a little embarrassing at times! She has a hard time focusing on what she is being asked, so the doctor was trying to get her to answer some questions and then reward her with a toy to play with. Well, that has never worked well for Kibby. She just fixates on the toy and cries for it, saying "I want it! I want the ____!" She was being so demanding and trying to grab the toys... I couldn't believe it. She was acting exactly like she does at home. Which isn't necessarily bad... just embarrassing, like I said. The only good thing about it is that the doctor got to see her true colors! The real Kibby.

The doctor did manage to get the evaluation done, but I wonder if it took longer than most. I'll never know. I did get some more insight on her language issues, though. I don't have the report yet (they'll mail it to me) so this will be vague until I have the report to look at, but she said Kibby does have a definite delay. She is partly at a 2-year-old level, and partly at a 3-year-old level for her communication. I can't remember which specific part was which, but I'll clarify in a future post. Sorry.

We talked about autism a little bit, and how it could be hard to diagnose, since it may be hard to tell what is just a result of her speech delay and what could be autism. When I mentioned her lack of imaginative play and social interaction, she said that is what she meant... is it autism or is it just because she doesn't have the communication skills to play at her peers' level yet? Which is something I've wondered, but it was good to hear a professional voice it as well. She mentioned that the Early Childhood Special Education (people) may end up diagnosing her as on the spectrum, and that wouldn't hurt because it would get her help, however, it would also label her. What she said seemed a little bit contradictory to what the social worker told us a couple of weeks ago... The social worker said the Early Childhood program had staff that would do an in-depth evaluation (more so than what was attempted at her pre-K screening / check-in in August). However, the Speech / Language therapist said they have a checklist-type diagnostic system, and that she may end up being diagnosed as autistic "more easily" by that system. So I don't know if they were both talking about the same program or not. There seems to be different programs all under the same "Early Childhood" umbrella.

At any rate, the next step is for me to contact the program on the referral paper (one of the Early Childhood programs) and have them evaluate whether she qualifies for the program. The Speech / Language therapist said that I should show them her report when they evaluate her, so hopefully I will have that by the time of the eval. We are also still waiting for an appointment to be set up for Kibby to see the Developmental Pediatrician. Which could take up to a couple of months, I'm told.

So, that's been life lately. Appointments for Kibby. Appointments for me. Preparing for Baby. Trying not to stress over all of life's little trials and just enjoy our blessings.

And looking forward to MOPS starting up again on Thursday! I've missed it over the Summer.

And my stomach has missed the yummy MOPS breakfasts. :P

Kibby's Appointments

Kibby had a couple of appointments this week. The first was a hearing evaluation with the Audiologist on Wednesday. I wasn't sure if she would be able to be tested in the regular way, where kids push a button or somehow signal when they hear a sound. Kibby isn't the best with understanding or following directions. Especially when there are toys that she wants to play with. She doesn't like having to wait or follow rules. (We can't even get her to play Candyland with us. She just wants to hold all of the candy cards!)
However, they we able to tell, due to her body language and her looking for the sounds and such, even without much consistency on her part, that her hearing is normal. Which wasn't a surprise, but it was good to have her tested anyway, because it rules out an issue with not hearing a certain frequency or anything. So, all good there! She hears just fine!

Then on Friday we met with a social worker to determine what type of evaluation would need to be done by the Developmental Pediatrician. It took an hour and a half, and Kibby did pretty well considering the length of the appointment. She played with toys, showed off her knowledge of colors, shapes and letters, and whispered lots of off the wall things to me as I chatted with the social worker. I told her all of my concerns, and she took notes, asked questions, and we agreed that Kibby's use of language was the main issue to be looked at. Along with that is her social interaction (or non-interaction, perhaps?) and her lack of imaginative play.

I was given information on Early Childhood programs available through the school district, and an application and a number to fill out / call to see if Kibby will qualify for a certain program or not. Since she is already 3, she would go to a center as opposed to having someone come out to our house. (Which will probably be a blessing since my house is always a zoo!) :)

I also found out that it could be a long time until Kibby is seen by the Developmental Pediatrician. They lost some of their staff this Summer and although they are trying to recruit, she said they are really in demand and since there are only a couple hundred of them in the US, they can pretty much pick wherever they want to go. So... it could be a while. I don't know if "a while" means one month? Two months? Longer? We are on their list to call if there are cancellations, so if there is an opening, they'll try to call us. So we wait and see.

Next up is her appointment with the Speech / Language therapist, which is not this week, but the next. The social worker thinks that it's great that her pediatrician referred her to all 3 of these appointments, so she will get a thorough evaluation. We did also talk about the possibility of Autism. She wanted to know if that was a concern of mine. I told her yes, that it's been on my mind for about a year now. I would rather know now than continue to wonder. In my mind, having a certain diagnosis (whether that be autism or something else, or nothing but a speech delay) will be a relief because then we can figure out where to go from there, and hopefully get her some help before she starts school in 2 years. It's not to label her, and it won't change who she is - a diagnosis won't change a thing about her. She will still be the same Kibby as she's always been, but we will hopefully be able to find ways to help her communication development and social skills.

And that is something I'm really looking forward to! :)

Appointments Appointments

Warning: Post may contain typos... Proceed with caution.

Or mercy, at least, please. :) I'm exhausted, but wanted to update everyone.

Yesterday was Kibby's appointment with her pediatrician. She did a 3-year check up and when I told her about how the early childhood screening went (well, didn't go) she agreed with my concerns and 50 minutes later we left with three pending appointments. One with an audiologist, although both the doc and I agree that we doubt this is part of the problem - it's certainly good to rule it out, if nothing else. Especially since she's never had a hearing test (except the newborn one, which she passed fine.)
The second appointment is with a speech / language therapist. Again, her speech is fine, but it's her use of language that will be evaluated.
The third is a more in-depth evaluation with a development / behavioral ... hm, what is their title? Specialist? I guess I don't know! With someone in that department, anyway!

After I posted this on Facebook, one of my friends commented that they had been through this stuff with their little boy and none of it was covered by their insurance and it wasn't cheap...

Sigh.

Well, I am hoping this is all covered. Otherwise I'll have to cancel and we'll have to find another way to help her. I'll do some checking later today. Her first appointment isn't until Sept. 9th, and the second one is later in the month. I am thinking the audiologist appointment should be covered at least, since she's never had a screening done. I guess I'll find out! Insurance companies can be such a hassle. Ugh.

More updates later. My bed is calling me. I don't sleep well these days, especially on nights I work, like last night. It's hard to get comfy on an old couch when you have a large belly and sciatica pains, so my own bed is sounding wonderful right now! (And since all 3 kiddos are still snoozing, I'm taking advantage of it!)

We've Only Just Begun

Those who have been reading my blog for a while know that we have some concerns about our middle child, Kaliyan (aka "Kibby"). She is 3 and a half and has some communication issues. She is easily distracted which makes it nearly impossible to have a conversation with her. She has meltdowns easily when she is not understood or does not get her way. It makes life with her very frustrating at times!

She also says off-the-wall things. For example: The other day we were having a snack and she said in a very mournful tone (out of the blue, seemingly) "Oh no! The meatballs are all gone!" (pause) "Are they upstairs in Bobbie's room?"

Okay, where on Earth did that thought come from? We haven't had meatballs in ages, certainly not at my sister's house (Bobbie is my sister, and lives 3 -4 hours away) and why would they be in her room, of all places? I did call my sister to tell her the latest "Kibby-ism" and said maybe she should check in her room for meatballs. They'd rot quickly in this weather and stink up her house. ;) We had a laugh over it, but this type of thing happens a lot with Kibby. She will say things that just make us shake our heads in confusion. I may never be able to figure that girl out...

Which brings me to today's events.

She was scheduled for her Early Childhood Screening / Check-in today. I'm not gonna lie. It didn't go well. We reviewed the things they asked us to review ahead of time and I filled out all the paperwork, listing all of my concerns. There were a few red flags already for me as I'd filled it all out, but there were also a lot of "normal" areas too. I was supposed to check off things that described Kibby. They asked if she could count from 1 - 10. Check. Can she stay dry during the day? Check. Can she transition from one activity to another without a lot of difficulty? Usually. Does she destroy things on purpose? Nope. Does she show physical aggression (biting, kicking...) towards other children? Nope.

So far so good, right?

But then.

Does she understand the concept of "one"? Can she bring you just one item, such as one crayon? (We tried this, because I didn't really know! First she brought me one block. Then I asked her to bring me one more, and she brought me 3. We tried again, and she brought me 3 more. We did something else and came back to it, asking for one block, and she ignored me and just played with them.) No check.

Does she compare things, such as one object being bigger or heavier than another? (We tried this, too. Several examples.) NO check.

Can she count items? No check. Can she tell which object is longer or shorter? No check.

This went on for a few more things. I began wondering if it was because we never really worked on these things with her or if it was something kids her age should be able to pick up on her own. I tried to think back to Ethan, but that didn't help. We never had any concerns about his development. Not a good comparison. Ethan had no communication problems, and started reading at age 3, and was always asking questions and trying to figure things out. Kibby's main concern for us was always her language. I think it still is her main struggle. If the communication is there, she could grasp these things they asked. But instead of pointing to which book is the bigger one, she repeats us, saying "Which is bigger?" Its as if she doesn't understand what we are asking her to do. It's not her speech (she can form words and speak clearly enough) so I don't think she needs speech therapy, but it's her use of language that gives her trouble.

Can she count to 10? Yes. When she thinks of it, or when we model it for her, she copies. She can say her ABC's and knows all of her letters. She knows her numbers, too. She knows colors and shapes. She is bright. She just gets lost when it comes to paying attention to a conversation or following one, or understanding how a conversation works, really.

So, after reading my long list of concerns, and trying to talk to Kibby about when she uses her toothbrush, and who lives at home with her (and getting nowhere, Kibby was looking all over the room, whispering about things she was seeing, and couldn't be redirected back to the conversation)... the teacher said she didn't think we could even do the screening.

Talk about disappointing. Not really a shocker, but sooooo disappointing.

So I still have no answers. The lady recommended we schedule a 3-year check up with her pediatrician and tell her all of our concerns, and she (the doctor) could refer us from there as needed. She said if the doctor is doubtful, I should explain what happened today. (Oh believe me, I will!)

We got home and after letting the kids chow down a late lunch of McD's, I called and made the appointment with the pediatrician for next week.

I have a feeling we've only just begun with this whole process. And it's going to be a LONG ROAD for this one.

On a brighter note, here is proof that she DOES sometimes color on paper. :)

Artist or Stinker?

You know you've all had those days, too. When you turn your back for a minute (or five) and all Jello breaks loose?

Only this isn't Jello.

But it may be harder to clean?

Here's a look at some of Kibby's latest "artwork". You tell me, Artist or Stinker?

She looks so proud of herself, here, too. (For the record, the ink washed off fairly easily!)

Sigh. What am I going to do with this girl?

Maybe I should start with keeping a closer eye on her, huh?

At Least Two Words Besides Momma and Dadda...

Today Ruby had her 15-month check-up and shots. I'm a little late getting her in for this due to all of the sickness and crud going around our house. She will be 16 months in less than a week. But apparently that is just fine.

And so is she! She weighed 18.3 lbs, so she is still in the "less than 3 percentile". The doctor wants to see her back at 18 months, but seems to think she is healthy, but may be be smaller due to genes from Seth. (Sorry, Hon!) :)

The doctor then asked all the typical questions, like what is she drinking, how is her eating and sleeping, etc. All normal. Then she asked about her words. I told her that she says, "Hi, Bye, No, Momma, Dadda, Baby, All done, Ahwo (hello, phone use only!) Uh-oh, Tank-ooh, and perhaps a few more that I am forgetting. She said that was great, that at 15 months they like to see children speaking at least 2 - 3 words besides Momma and Dadda.

So of course I thought of Kibby, who had virtually no speech until about 21 months. I think she is still behind, and am still thinking of getting her evaluated by the school district. More on that later. But I just want to say that I don't think it is so much her speech as her language. I used to confuse the two, but I think she is fairly average (for her age) with her ability to say word sounds correctly, although she may need some assistance there, too. The main issue I see is in her use (or often non-use or mis-use) of language. I've used the example of when I ask her a question. Here is a typical conversation in our house:

Me: "Kibby, did you fall down?


Kibby: I fall down!


Me: Do you get an owie?


Kibby: I get an owie!


Me: Where is your owie?


Kibby: Where is my owie!


Me: I know you have an owie. Show Mommy where it is, please.


Kibby: Show Mommy where it is.


Me: Kibby, where is your owie?


Kibby: Where is my owie!


Me: Does your knee hurt?


Kibby: My knee hurts!


Me: Does your head hurt?


Kibby: My head hurts!


Me: Does your dinosaur hurt? (just to see if she is thinking about what she is saying or not!)


Kibby: My dinosoar hurt!


Me: (going for yet another approach, pointing to her knee) Does it hurt here?


Kibby: It hurts here!


And on it will go, no matter where I point to. So unless she has an obvious owie, I have NO idea! And she will often ask for an ice pack if she gets an owie, however I have noticed that she will always hold it on the back of her head, even if that is not where the owie is. I think it's her security blanket.

I wish she'd just ask for a hug or kiss! That one I can do! (and usually do anyway! I just wish that "fixed it" for her!)

To be clear, this is just one example - its not that she gets hurt all the time!! However, I admit the slightest bump seems to call for an ice pack in her mind...

More news and updates are coming... and hopefully some more pictures. :)

If I Can Just Stop Coughing Long Enough to Say...

Ah, sickness. When it hits, it likes to stick around. None of this one-day-visit type thing. In my last post (which should have been a funny "Not Me! Monday" post, but was sorely lacking on the humor) I talked about how we're all sick around here. How we've been sick for the past week.

Well, we're all still sick. No more tummy viruses, thank you, God! Just some yucky colds with red noses, hacking coughs and blocked sinuses that steal our sleep at night and make us walking zombies during the day. I'm sure you all can relate. After all, they don't call it the "Common Cold" for nothing, right?

So I haven't been blogging much yet this month. Partly because of the sickness and partly because I've been spending some time getting some much-needed reorganization done in my kitchen. I'd like to paint it next month when my sister and her family come to visit. (My sis has offered to help! The men can handle watching our 4 kids while we spend a day painting, right???) Maybe I'll post some pics - you know, before / during / after shots.

So, last Friday I cleaned off the area above my cupboards (wow was it dusty up there) and washed and reorganized all my cupboards. I have a box of stuff ready to go to Salvation Army. Which is still sitting in my garage. Even though my neighbor works there at the dock where they accept the donations and could probably just take it along with him to work some day if I asked him, But have I? Nope. And Seth hasn't taken it in, either. So it sits.

But at least it's out of my kitchen!

Yesterday I hung new curtains in there, and I think after I get the room painted, it might actually look nice. My house needs some color. Except my bathroom, which is two-tone purple. I've been wanting to re-do that room since we moved in. (It's next on my list!)

Ok, enough about boring house projects. If you're still with me, wake up, stop snoring... I'm gonna talk about my kids now. :)

I probably don't write enough about them on here. So I'm going to try to be better about recording their milestones and such. After all, that is one of this blog's main purposes! But oh, how I get distracted! (My sister calls it ADOS - "Attention Deficit - Oooooh Shiny!" We both seem to have it!) So, without further ado, here is the latest on:

Ethan: Six-and-a-half (and don't you dare forget the half, my goodness). Loves school. Loves stories. Loves movies. Starting to love Pokemon (not so sure I like that a whole lot.) He is not so fond of onions, peppers, mushrooms... well, it's easier to just write what he does like - Mac N Cheese. Peanut butter and jelly. Fish sticks. That about sums it up. Oh and corn dogs, but I haven't bought them in a while. It's so hard to get him to eat anything else. He will sit at the table for hours if we don't keep encouraging him to eat his food. He always whines about something and asks why he has to eat it, and why can't I make him a PB&J sandwich... Yes, it gets frustrating. Somedays we set a timer for 20 min (after he's been sitting there for 10 - 15 min or longer, not eating) and say when time's up, you're done, and the kitchen is closed. Is that mean? Seriously, anyone got any ideas for us??? I don't like the idea of him eating a separate meal from us all the time, so we've been making him eat what we eat. And it's nothing weird, I assure you! :)

Kaliyan ("Kibby"): Three years old. Is just starting to learn that her name is Kaliyan, but we still mainly call her Kibby. (For those of you who don't know, Ethan gave her the nickname Kibby when she was only 2 weeks old, and it stuck. Her given name, Kaliyan, is Cambodian, and is supposed to mean "sweet, morally good, charming" and is pronounced more like "kaul-ee-yahn" with the "K" sound sort of a cross between a K and hard G sound. See why we call her Kibby? Seth is the only one who gets the pronounciation perfect, but that's just because he's Cambodian!)
Ok, getting back on track (remember the ADOS, people, give me a break here...)
Somedays her speech / language still concerns me. She doesn't answer questions well still. She will either respond with yes or no (if a yes / no question) or just repeat the question back to me. It gets frustrating. For more on her speech / language issues (my concerns) see here.
Some new or current phrases she uses:
~~ "Kin Wooby hug Wooby, Mommy?" Usually when she is being "tormented" by her little sister. She means "Can you hold Ruby, Mommy, (so she will leave me alone?")
~~ "Hup abow, _________?" Fill in the blank with any Disney princess movie. Means "How about, ________?" She will say this repeatedly, trying to get me to switch movies for her halfway through one. Or if I refuse to put one in for her to watch. (So terrible to just color, or play with toys / Mommy / sister...)
~~ "Doh wowwy, Wooby!" Meaning, 'Don't worry, Ruby." She says this when Ruby cries.
~~ "Oooooh, I nee ice pack!" When she gets an owie. Or when Ruby gets a bump, she says, "Ooooh, Wooby nee ice pack, Mommy!"
~~ "NOOOOOO!!! Dohn' you unerSTAN?!" ("NO! Don't you underSTAND?!") Um, yeah, we hear this one a LOT. Poor little girl! :( Although I have to say she has been using this more lately with the meaning of, "I didn't get my own way, and I really should have, don't you know that?"
~~ "I be a pwincess!" She says this while parading around in whatever, a pink blanket, my nightgown, or one day, it was my bra around her middle. Nice. So glad we didn't have company then...
Some other Kibby stuff... She loves pink. Anything pink. She is a picky eater, but loves fruit. And always wants to eat Fruity Pebbles cereal. Except she calls them "Pimples". I'll have to remind her when she is a teenager that she always said, "I wan PIMPLES!" as a 3-year-old!
She also refuses to share her favorite things with anyone. She screams when Ruby gets near her My Little Ponies, Care Bears, or anything else she happens to hold dear at the moment.
What else? Oh, potty training. Ugh. Not going well. She hasn't gotten it that she needs to let me know before she wets... and whenever she does tell me I think it's just to get a piece of candy. Which reminds me. Another favorite phrase of hers is, "Go potty get candy!"

Ruby: 15 months. She's learning so many things! Words she now uses: Momma, Dadda, No, Hi, Bye, All Done, Go, Baby, Awo ("hello" - while holding play phone to her ear). I can't think of any more right now, so that may be it. But what a difference from Kibby, who started to say Dadda and Momma a little (very very little) around 1 year and then didn't start talking again until she was 21 months!
Ruby also is learning to feed herself. Such a messy time! She loves to play with Kibby's tea set, and like to play in the bath and to stack cups. She has learned how to unzip a zipper (thanks, Dad...) This has made it more challenging to keep jammies on her! :)
She runs, loves to be tickled and chased, she climbs up on things, and loves to tug on (and chew on) the speaker wires in our living room. Much to our unliking...

So that's the latest scoop. I'll try to be more prompt about updates in the future, to avoid another overly-long post.

Anyone still reading? You deserve a medal! I'm done! :)

She has this... thing.... with bathrooms?

Three years ago today, this
cutie pie was born!



For the record, she was born at 8:40 PM, and was 7 lbs, 10.6 oz and... to be honest, I will have to check how long she was again - but the reason that is a bit hazy may be due to the fact that she had a slightly different birth than my other children had.



This girl has a thing with bathrooms, evidently.



She was not born in the hospital room. She was born in the bathroom attached to my hospital room. Nearly on the toilet. (About 5 inches in front of the toilet, in fact.)


When she was 4 weeks old, she rolled off the bathroom counter and cracked her skull on our bathroom floor.



She refuses to potty train. (I'm still hopeful on this one, though! Maybe I need to put a kid potty outside of the bathroom. But, then again... maybe not.)


All that aside, she is also: the demanding one, the high maintenance one, the Daddy's Girl, the cuddler, the screamer, the sensitive, tender-hearted one, the delayed-speaking one, the pony-tails and color pink obsesser, the CareBear and My Little Pony collector, and the most devoted thumb sucker.


She is our Kibby. And I can't imagine life without her.

Lots of stuff...

Bear with me if this post seems to be all over the place. (I'm sure it will!) I have many things on my mind today.

First, I had MOPS this morning. I like MOPS a lot, however, today's talk was on etiquette. Well, anyone who knows me personally knows that I am a pretty low-maintenance kinda gal. (I even had to look up how to spell the word - it's just not part of my normal vocab, ya know?)

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with practicing proper etiquette, but as a mom of 3... well... I'm sorry, but I am not going to bring out the fine china (oh wait, I don't even own fine china - unless Corelle counts?:) and make my children dress up for Sunday dinner. I think I'm doing swell if I can get my kids to say thank you! (Which they tell us a lot, just not to strangers very well, which makes it look like my kids aren't grateful for anything... but that's another issue for another time.)

So, do I really care if my children know to place their napkin on their lap? No, I'm just glad they use napkins. Or how to cut their meat? No, I'm happy if they eat it! Or if they know how to properly introduce someone? Not really. I'm happy if they include others and show kindness to each other. I think I value manners and respect more than etiquette. They probably go hand in hand, I know... Just not in our house. Does that make me a bad mom? Or just a typical Northerner? :)

Incidentally, throughout the whole presentation on etiquette, my 2-year-old was sitting on my lap, kicking her Tinkerbell shoes into the nice lady next to me (so sorry Amy), grabbing grapes off my paper plate and spilling my water. I had no lap left to put my paper napkin. I'm sure the speaker was cringing inside. She could have used me as a "what not to do" example. :)

However, I was convicted on one thing.

Thank you cards.

Yikes. I am horrible about this! HORRIBLE! For all of you out there that have sent me a wedding gift, or graduation gift, or baby gift, and you never once received a thank you card... I'm truly sorry. Please know I was grateful, however I am so terrible about mailing things. It's really no excuse, I know. Every year I buy a birthday card for my grandma, whose birthday is in July, and every year she ends up getting it in November, when we go to her house to celebrate another holiday or birthday. Like I said, I'm horrible. I did find out that I am not alone in this, though. I was surprised to find out that it is more common in my generation than I thought. Not really something to be proud of...
(Did I mention I'm horrible?)

Secondly... Kibby.

She was the one on my lap this morning. She seems to have developed an aversion to her classroom at church. Or to men and boys. I'm not sure which one it is. Maybe it's both. She cries and screams and will not stay in the room. So, today she sat with me. For the second time. I tried to get her to go in the room. Her little hands gripped the door frame as she screamed, "Noooooo!!!" But I still made her go. Well, I tried. I told the girl, "Just give her a few minutes, she'll probably calm down and start playing." Then I walked down the hall (feeling like a horrible Mom) to Kibby screaming, "MOMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!" over and over.
Seriously, I hope this is just a phase. A short phase.
Fifteen minutes later the girl brought her to me, apologizing... Kibby just was not calming down. So I took her, shuddery breaths and all, and wiped her tears and let her sit on my lap and eat grapes off my plate. Sigh. What else could I do?

I have been thinking more again about getting her evaluated. Maybe screened for an autism-spectrum disorder. At times her behavior reminds me so much of an autistic little girl I used to know. This girl must be a teenager now, perhaps 18, but I knew her when she was 8. And she showed the same emotional response to movies that Kibby does. She would role-play the "damsel in distress", screaming role of characters in movies she saw... she would act the scenes out. She did not initiate conversation or answer questions. Much like my Kibby. However, Kibby is 2, nearly 3. And Kibby is more verbal than this other girl, and makes better eye contact. Well, when she wants to. But not as much as other children. The problem is that I do not know what exactly is "normal" for her age. I do know that people do not always fit neatly into a certain diagnosis, but since I am not qualified to diagnose her, I don't feel I should. I just want to understand my daughter. I want to know why she is the way she is, and if there is anything I can do to help her.
Here is an example, a conversation I had with her this afternoon:

Kibby wanted to watch a movie.

She came up to me and said (in a sad, traumatized voice)
"Can I wanna watch? Can I wanna watch? Can I wanna watch? Can I wanna watch?"

I said, "What do you want to watch? A movie?"

She repeated, "Can I wanna watch?" (getting more emotional)

I said, "Which movie do you want to watch?"

Kibby said, "Can I wanna watch? Can I wanna watch?"

I said, "Which movie?"

Kibby said, "CAN I WANNA WATCH? CAN I WANNA WATCH?" (now in tears.)

I said, "Kibby, do you want to watch Tinkerbell? Or Snow White? Or Tomato" (she calls Veggie Tales "Tomato".)

Kibby said, "CAN I WANNA WATCH?! CAN I WANNA WATCH?!" At this point her face is inches from mine, and her tears are dripping on my lap...

I get up, and she crumples on the floor, screaming. Heartbroken and frustrated.

I ask her to come to me, over by the DVD player and the movies. I show her Tinkerbell. I show her Snow White... I ask which one. She repeats, "Wanna watch which one!"

Ugh.

I ask, "Do you want to watch Tinkerbell?"

She repeats, "Wanna watch Tinkerbell."

So I put in Tinkerbell, and she is satisfied. For now.

Do you see how this may get tiring? I keep thinking, I want her to TELL me, I don't want to just pick for her, or just guess. This happens SO much.

Other times, she appears to be doing fine. She will come up to me and say, "I'm thirsty, Mommy. Where's my drink?"

And she has been saying, "Thank you" to everything lately.

Well - least she is learning her manners.

She calls them WHAT?

*Ok, so I wrote this yesterday but forgot to publish it!
----------------------------------------------------------
My kids are always surprising me with the words that come out of their mouths. Last night Ethan and Kibby were playing tug-o-war with some toy and Kibby was crying and shrieking and suddenly screamed, "Give it to her! Give it to her!!!" (Hm, where has she heard that?) This shouldn't surprise me. It really shouldn't. That's Kibby. She loves to be a little echo!

Which can be a really bad thing sometimes!

A funny story: Well, it wasn't so funny when it happened, but it's something we laugh about now! We were grocery shopping and Kibby was riding in the cart. I put a container of prunes in the cart, out of her reach, because she loves them. She saw them, and started reaching for them, yelling, "I WANT SOME POOP, Mommy!!"

Yes, she calls them "poop" instead of prunes. Seth has told her that eating the prunes will help her poop, and somewhere in her 2-year-old brain, she has the words mixed up.

So she is screaming this in the store, and of course I just want to hide! People were looking. Maybe staring. I don't know, I avoided all eye contact.


It probably didn't sound any better when I told her, "Yes, just wait 'til we get home!"

I will continue posting these stories from time to time. It's "movie night" tonight so I need to help find the movie and get the kids' jammies on, etc.

Tomorrow is Ruby's First Birthday! Check back for pictures!

Susan

An Update on Kibby

A few posts back I wrote about Kibby and her communication delay. Well, it seems that whenever I get ready to haul her in to be evaluated, something happens that makes me stop and say, "Hm. Maybe we should wait."

Lately, Kibby has started answering me when I ask her a question. (However, she still will very very rarely say "yes". I think she loves saying the word "no" - which I see as part of normal 2-year-old talk!) This had been the most frustrating for me, but I am seeing improvement. She is now beginning to look at me more when talking to me, too.

So I am going to try a couple of things. The first one is to "wean" her from her thumb!! She has that thumb in her mouth all day long. She takes it out to eat (barely). The skin looks terrible. When I tell her to take her thumb out of her mouth, she does, immediately. But within 30 seconds, she forgets and it's right back in there. I remember when Ethan was her age we tried some of that nasty flavored stuff to get him to stop sucking on his fingers. I don't think it helped. We used to put socks on his hands, because his fingers would get so raw. I don't really want to do that again! Ethan used to take the socks off, so we had to use tape to keep them on! (No, we did NOT tape them to his skin!!! We taped around the sock on his wrist so he couldn't slide the sock off, and then folded the sock down over it so he wouldn't pick at the tape.) But knowing Kibby - she would just scream and scream... until she got the sock off.

Ok, so that's one thing.

The other is to read to her more. Up until recently, she wouldn't let you read to her. Well, not in the traditional sense at least. You couldn't hold her on your lap and show her the book for longer than 5 seconds before she would tear it away and jump down to look at it on her own. And we usually just let her. At least she was looking at the book. Now, I can read to her somewhat. She doesn't listen as well as Ethan used to (but then Ethan always loved reading, and was reading at age 3) but she is getting better with sitting on my lap or next to me and pointing out things on the pages.

At my MOPS group yesterday one of the ladies shared an idea for encouraging reading at home. They draw a tree on posterboard and then make leaves for it out of construction paper. Whenever someone either reads a book themselves or reads a book to someone else, that person gets a leaf (cut out ahead of time) and writes the title of the book and their name on it, and attaches it to the tree.

I mentioned this idea to Seth last night and I think we are going to give it a try. I am hoping that it will encourage my kids to read more and to want to have stories read to them. Ethan is all for it! He read a book last night and asked if he could put a leaf on our tree. (We each received a styrofoam cut-out tree at MOPS, and then for our craft time we traced, cut out and laminated some leaves that we can attach to our tree with velcro. The idea was to use dry-erase markers on the leaves and be able to use them over and over!) Well Ethan was all set to start last night!

I am hoping that these things help her learn to communicate better. It certainly can't hurt. If anyone has any other ideas for us to encourage Kibby's speech, or to encourage any communication with her, please leave me a comment! Thanks!

I would also love to hear some ideas for helping her quit the thumb-sucking!

:)
Susan